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When "Mom" Hurts

I know someone woke up today feeling sad, maybe desperately so.

Sad about the mom who is no longer here or who never was. Sad about the kids you didn’t have or who are now gone. The mom you were not or are not now.

This word is for you.

God loves you. He loves you with an infinite, perfect Mom-and-Dad kind of love—Love that will never fade or fail. He promises.

Virgin and Child (1663) is an oil-on-canvas painting by Italian painter Elisabetta Sirani

Have a good cry. Have a good rage. Grieve.

Write your mom a letter—never shared—forgiving her for every single one of her harms, even if they happened yesterday or in a remote past you can’t seem to let go of. Name the hurts, spell them out, use uncensored language as necessary. Read the letter aloud. Stomp, scream, curse.

Then BURN the letter.

Give your mom to God and ask for help letting her go, letting go of all the hurt. If she’d known better, she would have done better.

Forgive her. Bless her. For you.

This, too, is honor.

(NOTE for both parties: There's great freedom in knowing that forgiveness does not mean reconciliation if there are no honest amends (Luke 17:3-4, Matthew 18:15-20).

Talk to God, even if you’re not sure He’s real. Act as if. He’s listening. He cares. He understands.


Now, write yourself a letter, forgiving yourself for each failing, real, and imagined. Don’t mince words or hold back. Be rigorously honest. Name the seen and unseen wrongs. Confess them aloud to God. Get on your knees and ask God to forgive you.

Receive God’s total, 100%, perfect forgiveness. Jesus took the penalty, the shame, and the full burden of guilt for the world’s sins, including yours. If you'd known better, you would have done better.

Receive Christ’s penetrating, all-powerful, healing love. Bask in it today. No other god offers this incredible gift of mercy and grace that lasts forever. Take it.

Jesus died for people like us.

Don’t get hung up on God as a menacing patriarch. Genesis 1:27 says that when He created us, tells us that He made us in His own image, male and female. God is BIG.

Here's a link to some verses that describe God as feminine, including as a mom. Read them. Meditate on one that hits the spot.

Remember: This is not our forever home. It’s not. Whatever lacked then or is lacking now, whatever injuries you suffered or inflicted…They will all vanish in a blissful, loving eternity.

To all of you hurting moms, I pray God reveals His love to you in an unmistakable way today. Watch for it.

Love, grace, healing, & peace in Christ,

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