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Writer's pictureIsabella Campolattaro

The Truth Will Set You Free

Updated: Jul 26


I was working on a fine case of righteous indignation last week, shaking my fist at what seemed like a bona fide injustice. I had my red-faced, bullet-point tirade planned to set things straight when God intervened to prevent me from making a bigger mess. With a little honest self-reflection and a lovingly blunt friend’s confirming insights, I saw the truth about my part in the matter. By golly, as irritating as it was, I realized I'd created the situation! Seeing the truth set me free…from resentment, victimhood, and paralyzing patterns. In turn, I could also look for where I had the power to address the problem.


I love how recovery slogans bring uncomfortable, practical truths to life. This one is borrowed from Jesus, the first part anyway ;-).


…If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31-32

At first, the dots didn’t connect. “How is this relevant, God?” Easy-peasy. God’s word is like a mirror that shows me who I am and explains why some things go awry. I remember when I first read a landmark book about codependency. It was like, “Eureka! That’s what I got!” I laughed, I cried, and yes, I got angry.


Dr. Henry Cloud, the author of the famous “Boundaries” books, says anger sometimes signals that we need to set a new boundary. That insight really helped me.


I was angry about the childhood circumstances beyond my control that shaped me (can’t change that), but I was even more furious about how my own resulting adult behavior got me into hot water (I can change that, with help). I’d voluntarily given my power away to others, abdicated my rights in my compulsive drive to people-please, “buy” love and security, keep the peace, and care for grown-ups who could care for themselves...all at my expense. I’d subordinated my wants and needs for all the wrong reasons. Ouch. Darn!


You can see how this realization would bug the heck out of you!


Here’s the good news. With God, there’s always good news!


Once I saw what I was doing…I was doing…I could ask God for help. Since I now know I’m powerless over others (and just about everything else), I set a new boundary with this person that effectively reversed the pattern, although I couldn’t make up for the loss to date. (Another handy slogan is “Some lessons are more expensive than others, get your money’s worth.”).


Of course, setting the boundary was also outside my comfort zone, but I pre-prayed, put my big-girl panties on, and courteous and clear, it went just fine. I felt better about the issue, but more importantly, I felt better about myself.


A collateral benefit is that I stopped enabling the other person’s unjust behavior, and I saw a tiny glimmer of realization that they’d been out of line. I’m not 100% sure any lights came on for them, but they sure came on for me! Now, I’m also armed with fresh insight to help me guard against the same setup next time.


Back to the biblical context, Jesus is saying this to people who said they were already free and were not beholden to anyone.

Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin.” John 8:34

This, too, is a practical reality for any of us; anything or anyone to which we give our power—people, places, and things—enslaves us, robbing us of our freedom. It means we’re seeking comfort, security, meaning, identity, etc. from something outside ourselves other than God. Note that "practice" sounds like it's a habitual, unchecked pattern, ya know? Not a slip or the imperfect reality of being human.


In a spiritual sense, it’s an idol, and idolatry, friends, is a sin.


Whether it’s food, sex, booze, baubles, money, the parent, practice, kid, or that guy or gal (the list is endless), we’re hooked.


In recovery programs, the first step is to admit we’re powerless over this or that and then to invite God to free us. He’s willing and able.


“If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” John 8:36


I want freedom. Sweet freedom. Even if the cost of admission is a painful truth about me.




PRAYER:

Jesus, grant us grace and courage to face the truth about ourselves, and to reclaim your "incomparably great power for us who believe" (Eph.1:19). Free us from the sin that so easily entangles us (Heb.12:1) so we can live the abundant life you promised (John 10:10). FREE...the way You designed us to be! Amen. Thank You. I love You.


P.S. Setting boundaries is hard! If you have boundary issues, check out https://www.healthyboundarysociety.com/ for spot-on, supportive coaching and support.



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ZELLE: IsabellaCampolattaro


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