When You Can’t Unsee What You See
- Isabella Campolattaro
- Nov 15, 2025
- 5 min read
Bearing the Burden of Seeing
Discernment is one of the most beautiful—and one of the most brutal—gifts God gives. It is a gift you want, because it brings clarity, protection, wisdom, truth, and spiritual sight. And it is the gift you don’t want, because once you see something, you cannot unsee it. Heavy.
Discernment is both a light and a sword. A comfort and a burden. A gift and a responsibility. And if you’ve walked with this gift—especially since childhood—you already know this.
If you’re like me, it maybe took you a very hard, very long time to understand.
(Pause for a hug 💔❤️🩹❤️.)
Seeing Before You Have Words for It
“Jesus… knew what was in each person’s heart.”
John 2:24–25
Even as a little kid, I saw things. I could sense truth about a situation or person, pick up on sketchy motives, feel the purity—or the putrid—of someone’s heart. I saw the dysfunction in myself, my family, and in others. In fact, discernment is often grown in trauma, a survival superpower of observation and vigilance.
And I won’t lie: it was mostly no fun.
Often, I was the only one who sensed something was off. Later I realized others sometimes saw it too, but were too afraid to say or do anything—especially if the person involved had charisma, power, or authority.
The truth-teller seldom gets trophies. They are far more likely to get side-eyed, dismissed, ostracized, or punished for “upsetting the apple cart.”
Seeing and Speaking
I was 13 at a New England summer camp and one handsome counselor gave me instant bad vibes. Then he came into the girls’ dorm to kiss each girl goodnight on the lips. Most girls giggled and awkwardly complied. They were 13. He was pushing 30.
When he came toward me, something deep in me rose like fire.
“This is gross!” I said loudly, and shoved him away.
He tried again. I refused louder. The next day I told a female counselor. He stayed at camp, but he never came into our room again.
Many times, I've seen the evil beneath the shiny surface. The demon beneath the angelic light.
Discernment protects.
Discernment interrupts.
Discernment sees what innocence shouldn’t have to see—and sometimes, speaking up changes everything.
The Tender Side of Seeing
“A bruised reed He will not break…” Isaiah 42:3
Discernment isn’t only about seeing danger or deception. It’s also the heartbreaking gift of seeing the wounded child hidden beneath arrogance, anger, defensiveness, or chaos.
Sometimes you see the pain someone doesn’t know how to articulate. Sometimes you see the fear behind the control. The boy beneath the bravado or bully. Sometimes you see a glimmer of Christ in someone who has no idea He’s calling.
This tenderness is beautiful…and risky.
Because when you sense someone’s emotional or spiritual wounds, you want to rescue them. You want to comfort their inner child. You want to help.
And sometimes, your empathy becomes a door for abuse, manipulation, or self-betrayal.
I lived this for years.
It took nearly a lifetime to learn that seeing someone’s brokenness doesn’t mean you fix or endure their behavior. God never asks us to heal people at the cost of our own wellbeing because we aren't the savior. He is.
Discernment requires compassion and boundaries. Love and wisdom. Tenderness and detachment. Sometimes it calls us to be the instrument of exposure or accountability.
This is maturity. Discerning.
The Pain of Seeing People’s True Allegiances
“Jesus knew from the beginning who would betray Him.” John 6:64
There is another quiet grief to discernment: the moment you realize someone you trusted—a friend, a sibling, a parent, a spiritual leader—is not truly for you.
Maybe they resent you.
Maybe they envy you.
Maybe they quietly hope for your failure.
Maybe they enjoy your struggle more than your success.
Nothing cuts deeper than discovering that your loyalty wasn’t mutual, that your vulnerability wasn’t safe, or that your love wasn’t returned in kind.
Jesus knew all about this. He discerned the hearts of Judas, Peter, the Pharisees, and the crowds. He understood the difference between who was with Him and who was near Him for what He could give.
Discernment sometimes reveals truth that shatters illusions—but also truth that sets you free.
How People Respond to Being Seen
“…the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed.” Luke 2:35
People feel when they’re being seen. This can have at least two effects:
1. Some feel safe, understood, accepted, relieved. They sense that you see the real them—and it calms something inside them.
Sometimes they crave you like a drug. Don't let this go to your head. They're actually craving Christ, a longing that only He can quench.
2. Others feel threatened, exposed, or uncomfortable. Not because of anything you said, but because your clarity makes their hiding impossible.
Your existence disrupts their illusion. Your presence reveals what their words conceal.
This is one of the burdens of discernment:
your presence can soothe souls or unsettle them—without you doing anything. They may want to discredit or destroy you.
Jesus had this effect constantly. It either freed or inflamed!
Jesus invites us into transparent relationship with Him and with each other. Being truly seen and loved is treasure.
Hiding drives us from intimacy with Him and each other.
Discernment in Scripture
“When Jesus perceived their thoughts…” Luke 5:22
“…why has Satan filled your heart to lie?” Acts 5:3
“I see that you are full of bitterness…” Acts 8:23
“Paul, filled with the Spirit, looked straight at Elymas…” Acts 13:9
The Bible shows discernment in action:
•Jesus perceived hidden motives
•Peter discerned deception and spiritual bondage
•Paul discerned influence and intent
•The early church tested spirits, teachings, and people
Discernment isn't paranoia, though we may feel crazy at times. It is Spirit-saturated clarity well-documented in Scripture.
Discernment Is Costly
People with discernment are often misunderstood, dismissed, gaslit, isolated, targeted, resented, feared, or exploited.
Discernment often makes you the outlier, the one who “sees too much,” the one others later say, “I should have listened to you.”
But over time, discernment becomes your protection, not your punishment.
Discernment Is a Mercy
Discernment is God’s way of saying:
“I want you free, not fooled.
Aligned, not entangled.
Protected, not exploited.
Led by My Spirit, not by people’s dysfunction.”
It is both a gift and a calling.
Both a shield and a burden.
Both revelation and responsibility.
But it is always, always mercy.
God exposes in order to free us and heal us.
Resisting His revelation never ends well.
PRACTICE
Ask the Holy Spirit:
“What are You showing me? And what do You want me to do with it?”
Then listen. Wait. Ask for humility. Ask for clarity. Ask for courage. And act only as He leads. Leave the results in His hands.
PRAYER
Holy Spirit, Thank You for the gift of discernment. Teach us to see clearly without becoming cynical, to feel deeply without being overwhelmed, and to love wisely without losing ourselves.
Heal the places where empathy became entanglement and where we were dismissed or harmed for seeing truth. Give us compassion for the wounded child in others, and the wisdom to set boundaries with those who refuse to heal.
Help us recognize who is truly for us and free us from those who are not. Strengthen us when Your insight exposes hidden motives, and give us peace when our presence unsettles others.
Lead us to speak when You say speak, and to be still when You say be still. Use this gift to protect, guide, and align us with Your will.
We entrust ourselves to You—just as Jesus did. Amen. Thank You. I love You.💖
DIG DEEPER
If you’re curious about your own spiritual gifts, this assessment is surprisingly accurate and often deeply confirming:
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